Mr. Solefish

“Some people say, ‘Never kiss a friend because that friend will be lost forever.’
But what if that one person you are looking for is that friend you’ve never kissed?”

There always is that one person for everyone, that one guy/girl that you always look back upon and say what if. I saw mine last night. Mr. Solefish The guy I had once thought was “the one”. He’s still that one person that makes me flustered. That one person that turns me back into that insecure teenage girl waiting to be asked to the homecoming dance. Last spring I was going through a hard time- my mother had just been diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I was switching onto a new film and had just found out that my driver’s license was suspended due to an unpaid Seat Belt Ticket. Mr. Solefish took me out one fateful Thursday night to Saddle Ranch to help me forget all my problems, only turns out he gave me another problem to fret about. After a lot of AMF’s, some music and too much dancing we ended up back at his apartment. Now I say it was him that made the first move, and although it was, he says it was the way I was dancing at Saddle Ranch that made me make it. Not that it really matters how it happened, but what happened was I ended up having sex with one of my best friends. Someone I still work with. Someone who’s on and off girlfriend I’ve known for years. But the hardest part, was that the next morning I wanted to call up my best friend to tell him what happened and have him tell me it was all going to be all right, and since I had just slept with him I couldn’t. Now it has taken us months to get back on friendly terms, and last night was the first time we really had hung out alone since.

And a lot had happened over the last couple of months. We both have gone through many relationships, many jobs, many different paths in our life. At one time I thought of him as my soul mate, but looking at him last night I knew I couldn’t still. But what really is a soul mate? Do we have just one? Or are there many along the way? Maybe the idea of a soul mate is that they are the other part of you at that time. Since we all change year to year and month to month, maybe our soul mates also change with us and, like in this case, away from us. The time apart from him might not have changed the flutter I get when I see him, but it definitely changed the spark between us. Once there was this amazing chemistry that radiated around us. Now? Just a low hum of old friends meeting once again after a long time apart. No longer lovers. No longer good friends. Maybe no longer Soul Mates. But instead of that being a depressing thought, it’s actually kind of exciting. Since he is obviously not “the one” that means I still have my Mr. Soul Mate out there to meet! And until then I am going to continue on my fun little way. Like last night. After a few bars and a Brazilian party I didn’t meet a new Mr. Soul Mate. But I did get to meet Mr. Rio Perch, who reminded me how much fun you can have just kissing someone. And to me that might be even better than finding “the one”