“Why don’t we get drunk and screw…”
Jimmy Buffet
Jimmy Buffet
What’s the deal with pick up lines? After a weekend of bar hopping and watching Monday night football with my girls, I just can’t take it anymore. I know I complain when I go to a bar and NO guy hits on me, but sometimes the lines I get are a little too much to handle. So that being said, here are my FIVE favorites from the week:
5) Has anybody ever told you that you look like a Minnie Driver
Since I get that at least once a week and HATE it, try something a little more original next time because as soon as I hear: “Has anyone ever told you who you look like” I start to cringe a little. To the extent that even Mr. Puffer-fish called this week to tell me he finally remembered who I reminded him off. After dating on and off for a year, it’s only now that he thinks I look like someone. But hey at least he didn’t say this while we were having sex, just as a precursor to wanting to have sex. Don’t know if it was to have sex with me or to pretend it was Minnie Driver, either way he got a thanks but no thanks.
4) Hey do you have a boyfriend… do you want on?
I actually got that one on set Friday night. The answer would be NO!!!! As in no I don’t want YOU!
3) Hey you’ve got some sexy legs…
That one was actually YELLED at me while I was walking the Warner Brothers lot. Clue to all men out there NO GIRL WANTS TO BE YELLED AT WHILE SHE IS WALKING UNLESS SHE ACTUALLY IS A HOOKER!!!!
2) Wow, you have the most amazing smile!
Well I will be sure to pass that along to the orthodontist that my parents paid an arm and a leg to in grade school so that I would get this AMAZING smile.
1) Do you want me to talk dirty to you?
My personal favorite!
Well I know it’s not fair that I am bagging on guys and their lines because a lot of times they work. And even the ones that don’t I have to say you have given me a good laugh. So to be fair I will share with you one that did work recently. I met a guy in surfing down in Baja a couple of months ago. We were all staying in this little surf village and the only bar in town was this little dive that featured Karaoke on the weekends. After riding a few waves together and chit chatting in the water we arranged to meet there that night. Later that night after a few drinks and us talking for awhile he got up to sing a karaoke song and sang it right at me. And as much as I am drawn to looks first I am a sucker for someone who can make me laugh- His song was “Why don’t we get drunk and screw”… Moral of the story, cut with all the stupid chitchat, a good “let’s screw” will work every time. And that is how I met Mr. Summer Flounder this summer. And boy did that “screw” work!
5) Has anybody ever told you that you look like a Minnie Driver
Since I get that at least once a week and HATE it, try something a little more original next time because as soon as I hear: “Has anyone ever told you who you look like” I start to cringe a little. To the extent that even Mr. Puffer-fish called this week to tell me he finally remembered who I reminded him off. After dating on and off for a year, it’s only now that he thinks I look like someone. But hey at least he didn’t say this while we were having sex, just as a precursor to wanting to have sex. Don’t know if it was to have sex with me or to pretend it was Minnie Driver, either way he got a thanks but no thanks.
4) Hey do you have a boyfriend… do you want on?
I actually got that one on set Friday night. The answer would be NO!!!! As in no I don’t want YOU!
3) Hey you’ve got some sexy legs…
That one was actually YELLED at me while I was walking the Warner Brothers lot. Clue to all men out there NO GIRL WANTS TO BE YELLED AT WHILE SHE IS WALKING UNLESS SHE ACTUALLY IS A HOOKER!!!!
2) Wow, you have the most amazing smile!
Well I will be sure to pass that along to the orthodontist that my parents paid an arm and a leg to in grade school so that I would get this AMAZING smile.
1) Do you want me to talk dirty to you?
My personal favorite!
Well I know it’s not fair that I am bagging on guys and their lines because a lot of times they work. And even the ones that don’t I have to say you have given me a good laugh. So to be fair I will share with you one that did work recently. I met a guy in surfing down in Baja a couple of months ago. We were all staying in this little surf village and the only bar in town was this little dive that featured Karaoke on the weekends. After riding a few waves together and chit chatting in the water we arranged to meet there that night. Later that night after a few drinks and us talking for awhile he got up to sing a karaoke song and sang it right at me. And as much as I am drawn to looks first I am a sucker for someone who can make me laugh- His song was “Why don’t we get drunk and screw”… Moral of the story, cut with all the stupid chitchat, a good “let’s screw” will work every time. And that is how I met Mr. Summer Flounder this summer. And boy did that “screw” work!
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